The Latest Look

Like most kids, Natalie loves to look at pictures of herself. Here are some of her favorites as of late:


Me: Look, you're trying on mommy's shoes.
N: No mommy! Those are BOOTS.


At the indoor mall playground. A very important place when it's 95, humid, and your toddler is full of energy.


Oh, my high fashion girl!

It's a strange, blessed land

There are many things I've been wanting to write about living in Florida, and how it differs from my native California upbringing. Though we've actually been here since last October, it wasn't "real" for me until we moved into our house in May. When we first arrived here, we were in limbo. Not sure if we were staying in Florida, or moving to Denver or somewhere else entirely. Each new job interview for Dean brought on possibilities. So now that we have settled in, and I am truly living the Florida lifestyle, I've had some time to reflect upon things, and some time to realize just where we have landed. For the most part, it's been great, but I was not prepared for the culture shock. I know a particular girlfriend of mine is laughing hysterically as she reads this, but I didn't realize how liberal California was until I left.

I truly was not expecting the large emphasis on church-going and religion. Within weeks of moving to our new town, I must have heard someone saying how blessed they were at least once a day. Often more. As in several times in a single day. To the point where I was commenting about this to Dean, to my folks and to many of my old friends. I don't have a problem with people saying this, but when your norm is people using these words only in regards to big life changing experiences, you notice it.

As evidence, here are a sampling of actual quotes I've heard since moving here:

"I'm so blessed (insert reason here)" (heard at least 432 times so far)

"I have to pick up my kids at vacation bible school"

"He's an interior designer. Oh, but he's not gay, he has kids!" (um, okay.)

"I've always known I wanted to be a surrogate mother"

"We're christians so... "(insert explanation for actions here)

"I don't know, doesn't the Montesorri Method teach independent thinking?" (oh, sorry, I didn't realize that was a bad thing)

The clincher for me was the day I took Natalie to a park and while pushing her on the swing, a busload of kids unloaded (clearly a summer camp) and proceeded to sit down at the picnic area. A few moments later, I hear these lovely little voices ring into the air singing "God is good, God is great". Luckily, no one else was at the park as I just started laughing hysterically, not believing my ears. It was just so perfect that this would take place while I was around to witness it. I don't know, perhaps someone is trying to tell me something?

While I won't go into all my spiritual beliefs here, suffice it to say, I believe in God, consider myself spiritual but am not a big fan of organized religion. How being around all these blessings will affect Natalie, remains to be seen. For now, I'll likely be enrolling Natalie in the Montessori preschool next year and trying to meet the other 10 liberal parents who live in the area. The funny thing is, that I don't consider myself a hard core liberal by any means. I have very liberal tendencies in some areas (I could care less if you are gay and I think pot should be legalized), but I also think that if you want to own a gun, it's your right (with some background checks) and I don't have a problem with capital punishment (if it fits the crime).

But if I have to pick between being labeled as a liberal in a conservative land and sending my kids to vacation bible school, bring on the liberalism.

Natalie and Willy

There's been much talk around the Dixon abode lately of adding a dog to the mix. Not sure, think Natalie would enjoy one?


Natalie and Willy Woo

Likely we'll get a Shih Tzu, Dean grew up with them and loves them. And since he puts up with the lovely felineness of Ezzy, I guess it's only fair that he select the next pet. My only question is, how do you have a dog w/out a backyard fence? We don't have one, which has been a bit strange for me with this house, as everyone in CA has fences. It seems so public in your backyard to not have one.

But since it's summer and ridiculously hot, if I'm outside, I'm on the lanai in the safety of the cool pool and giant screened cage to keep the bugs out. So it hasn't really been an issue. But I can't imagine having a dog without a fence, you know? Not if we want to stay friends with our neighbors anyway. So I think we'll have another project to add to the house list soon. Now tell me, do you ever, as a homeowner go a good long stretch without having to spend money on the house?

Beware, Florida Living

Think you had a crazy morning?

I got up early with Natalie this morning, enjoyed some playtime and then settled her down to some Raisin Bran and Sesame Street so I could take a shower. I head into our guest bathroom for a quick break before showering and am "greeted" by something I never thought I'd see. As I open the toilet seat, something moves. Let me say that again... SOMETHING IS MOVING IN MY TOILET!!

WTH!!

I proceed to scream and generally freak out and am immobilized by shock as I see two eyes looking back at me, in my toilet. As the shock fades, I realize it's a goddamn FROG in my toilet. Not a tiny frog either, but a healthy-size one (for the toilet anyway) at 2-3 inches in diameter. And while I am standing there, I'm sure my mouth gaping, the frog is freaking out as well. Those eyes are wide and he (she?) is kicking and splashing spasmodically and I realize in horror that he might jump out. At which point I slam the seat down.

What to do now?

I open it again to make sure I'm not crazy and he's still looking at me!! Arrgh! So I run to grab Dean. Clearly, this is a man's job. He's still in bed and I tell him he has to come see something, right now. He gets a slightly worried look and is asking me what it is and I just say "no, you have to see this" and lead him into the bathroom. I tell him to open the toilet seat. He gives me that look that says "uh-oh", opens the lid and sees... nothing. The frog is gone. My lovely husband then asks me if I'm sure I saw a frog. I think my look answered that question.

Then, he starts looking around the bathroom, asking if it got out. I panic for a second and then realize no, while he appeared basketball size in my horror, I know he was too small to force open the lid. So I tell Dean to look in the basin. Still nothing. So, Dean flushes the toilet, nothing happens and that is it. I'm feeling slightly remorseful at this point, wondering if the flush killed the frog, but really, I'm more afraid he's still in the piping waiting to make another appearance.

Of course, this brings up memories of my childhood when I heard about a lady in Texas who got bitten while peeing when a snake came up the toilet. I had serious fears about this for months after... always checking for snakes in our toilet in California. Nice to have finally gotten over that only to be re-traumatized through finding a frog in my own toilet.

So let's just say, the lids on the toilets will remain closed in the house moving forward. I will likely not use the guest bathroom for awhile. I even had to flush first when using the other bathroom because in my freaked out state, I wondered if the pipes were connected. Oh, and all this is happening as we are on the brink of potty training Natalie. Nice.

So, when you come to visit, look before you pee and if you leave the seat up, I'm going to kick you out of my house.

Cute Things

I have to say, I love this age! Natalie is very expressive in both her words and actions as she heads towards her 2nd birthday. Here are a few of the things I'm finding especially cute at the moment:

- The fact that when she sits on my lap and I'm reading to her, her hair is so big and curly it tickes my face

- When she says "You funny mama"

- When we take walks around the neighborhood and she runs from mailbox to mailbox going "lalala"

- Watching her chase the leaves that are blowing in the wind

- Floating on her back in the pool, looking for the moon, and saying "moon is hiding" when she can't find it

- Sesame Street time: when we tell her "it's time" she jumps up with glee, runs to push her little chair in place, goes to press the number 3 on the remote (which granddad taught her) and has a big smile on her face while clapping as she sits down to watch

- crazy legs

- hearing "oh boy, oh boy, oh BOY!" when she's really excited about something

- wathcing her run circles around her crib, climbing up on it and then stopping to check herself out in the mirror

- when Dean is away on business, watching her reaction when he gets home and she does the happy dance

And really, that everything she does right now, she does with complete abandon and joy. With all her might. Nothing is done half heartedly. And that she expresses all her emotions freely... why is it we lose this as we get older? It's so refreshing to watch kids before they start to edit themselves for the world around them.

The Tide is Turning

Ahem, it seems like I begin a lot of my posts with "it's been awhile..." and here I am again. Much has happened since my last update, here goes:

- Dean started a new job last week and it's going well.
- We bought a house and are moving to the Tampa area - hurray!

Miss Natalie has been busy, I'm so amazed and enamoured with her these days. Her Sesame Street passion is showing itself... at not yet 2 she can count to ten and knows almost all the letters of the alphabet. Amazing! We must sing the ABC song at least 5 times daily, sometimes more. And she's just so damn cute about it all I almost can't stand it. She loves to sing, which I enjoy, but the downside of this is I am slowing losing my mind to ABCs, wheels on the bus and twinkle, twinkle. Whilst I used to hum and listen to my favorite bands, my brain these days is on a slow downward slump of kiddie music. I'm looking forward to getting into our house and having our music system set up. I need some ME back.

She's getting more teeth, curlier hair, if you can believe that and, is just a happy good natured kid. Her little cousin Alex was here last week and she was great with him... giggling and actually sharing her toys (mostly) that made me start thinking about how she'd be a great big sister. We'll see. I'd love her to have a sibling, but part of me can't imagine another child being as wonderful as Natalie. I know these feelings would evaporate as soon as we had another baby. But is it time? Are we ready for the chaos of a newborn again? Are you ever?

Natalie's Favorite TV Show

I had posted before about how much Natalie loves to watch Sesame Street. Well, there's a new contender on the block. An oldie but goodie...

Yes my friends, Natalie loves, ahem, the Lawrence Welk Show. Since staying with Dean's folks, it's become a Saturday night routine for us (Good God, what would my 16 year old self have thought of this, the horror!) It comes on 7:00, which is right when she often gets tired and cranky. So instead of dealing with the last hour of her day in whining, we all end it on a very pleasant note. She loves watching the dancers and we love watching her watch them.

And Natalie, when you're 16, I have the proof right here, so be nice to your parents or I'll forsake a grounding and email this to that cute boy you've got your eye on instead:

The birds...

We've had a new family visitor for the second time now. A blue heron has twice come to visit us, and was rewarded the second time with a bowl of fruit. Think he'll be back?

Here he is on the patio cage on his first visit. For all my west coast pals, everyone in FL has these cages so that you can enjoy the weather, bug free. On my first visit to Dean's parents, this just blew my mind. Growing up in California, I had never seen anything like it. However, after a 20 minute walk around the neighborhood on Halloween, I counted 22 love bites the next day. I'm now a believer. If we end up living in Florida, a cage will be required.



And here is a cute video of Natalie watching the Heron and saying hello to him. Dad, she loves walking around the neighborhood, looking for cats, bugs and birds. I think will love bug hunting with you on our next visit!

1..2..3..4..FIVE

Okay, finally at 20 months, Natalie has cut her fifth tooth. Yes, fifth. While most toddlers at this age have almost a full set including molars, miss natalie is taking her sweet time welcoming the incisors. She didn't even get her first tooth until right after her first birthday. Dean's mom remembers both he and Debbie being late teethers, and I think my mom said the same about Pete and I. So, perhaps genetics play a role here?

The signs were evident, she's been walking around for days, with her shirts lifted up, exposing her belly while gnawing on the edges. The first day I noticed a huge wet spot on the bottom of her shirt and thought she had gotten into the dogs water. Only after changing her shirt, and later that day seeing her chewing on it in the above mentioned fashion, did I realize what was going on.

I have to say, this makes me very happy. I'm long over the days of peeling her fruit being exciting because she could finally eat solids. After almost a year of peeling, dicing and not being able to give her things like pepper strips or carrot sticks becuase they are too hard to gum, I'm over it. Really, really, over it. Today I'm doing a happy dance as we are one step closer to molars, hurray!

The First Video!

I finally got my act together and set up a YouTube account. I've only been talking/thinking about this for months now. Yeah, some early adopter I am.

Natalie has been talking nonstop lately, in full sentences and many words, her favs right now:

"come" - meaning follow me into the next room
"where is it" and "there it is!"
"no willy" - to get the dog to stop licking her toes. But apparently Willy does not speak Natalie.
and the cutest is we are teaching her to say "I love you". I'll have to get that on video, it's just too adorable!

Anyway, enjoy the first video. It's Natalie with her granddad and Willy Woo, just babbling. It's about a month old, so you won't get the above phrases. But it's still cute. Let me know what you think!

It's been awhile...

Okay, so I've been completing slacking on the Natalie blog, for which I do apologize. Between moving, settling in with the inlaws, and the fact that the room Natalie sleeps in holds the computer I upload my digital photos in, well, it's been a challenge. My only real free time is when she is sleeping, and that's when I think about blog updates. But then I remember, doh! The photos are still on the memory chip.

So... happy holidays and best luck in keeping those new year's resolutions. One of mine is to simplify... so rather than a lenthy catchup, I'll let the pictures do the talking. Enjoy!


Mommy and daddy found a really cool irish pub in south tampa.


I am soo... Siesta Key. Bummer that it was cloudy when Sio
came to visit.


Whoa. This east coast sand is so much fluffier than SB.


Diddy's got nothing on me.


The "real" Santa should get some cool lights like these.
Maybe then I'd sit on his lap and smile.

Moving

It's four days before we move and Dean has been working like crazy to move all our stuff into storage. I finally relented and hired a mover.

Coloring

Natalie discovered crayons today! Well, let me rephrase, today Natalie discovered the USE of crayons and did not try to eat them. Progress!



Note her crossed ankles. She's such the little lady. No idea where that came from. And she put the hat on by herself too...

Bye Bye Beach

Our California beach days are coming to an end... rapidly. Just a few more weeks and we leave Santa Barbara for more affordable shores. Or more affordable mountains, not sure yet. We're headed for a hiatus in FL and then we'll decide where the new adventures begin.

I'm excited about this. And nervous. And a bit sad to leave Santa Barbara... it's so beautiful here. I think Dean and I are really appreciating this, now that we are about to leave. And now that Natalie has become such a beach girl this summer, it's a shame to have to leave somewhere where you are literally a five minute drive to an uncrowded beach.





But when a crappy 3 bedroom fixer is 800k or more, it's time to go. I'm excited as I've never lived anywhere else but CA. I'll miss lots of things here... mostly being close to family and friends. But really, as long as I have Dean and Natalie, I can be happy anywhere. Besides, either way, it will be a good move. I'll get to live near my brother again and become a decent skiier, or we'll be on another shore, enjoying a warmer ocean in an affordable house, closer to Dean's family. Either way, it's going to be an adventure.

Happy Birthday Natalie!

Natalie, this is the first of your many birthday letters to come. It's a tradition I want to start so you'll have a chronicle of your life through my eyes. And selfishly it's for me too, so I remember just how amazing you are at every stage.

But first, you should know that this letter may always be late. Today should be May 22nd as I write this, but it's not. It's June already. I'm sorry! But really, you better get used to it. It runs in the family, I inherited it from my mom, and frankly, your dad isn't any better than me. You're doomed to a life of lateness, in one form or another. We'll try, but I'm sure this may frustrate you at times. I apologize in advance.

Wow Natalie, what a year. You have accomplished so much more than I have this year. When we brought you home last year, we didn't know what to do. Now, I know just what makes you happy... playing peekaboo, chasing the kitty, watching bubbles or dancing with me holding you in my arms. You have brought your dad and I so much joy this year, that I don't think words can express it. I love walking into your room and finding you standing in your crib with that big gummy grin on your face, ready for a day of fun.

You are such a social creature! You love nothing more than taking a walk in the stroller and smiling at everyone you see, just to get them to smile back and chat with you. And at that, you are almost always successful. You love the attention! I find this so endearing, and wonder how this will fit into your personality as you get older. I hope you always smile at strangers with the hope of getting one in return.

You are also a complete water baby, just like your dad. You love, love, love being in the pool, even being dunked. You love the beach, and your most recent discovery of fun... SAND! You just jet off and I can already envision you running around the beach soon, maybe by the end of this summer. I know you'll be so cute I just can't stand it.

On the not so endearing side, you really seem to enjoy throwing your food and sippy cups out of your highchair. Whether or not you're still hungry. And lately, you have no time for diaper changes. You wiggle and squirm and if I don't have just the perfect distraction, you leave a huge mess in your wake. I know you're just excited to keep exploring, but could you cut your mom just a bit of slack? You're also an early bird, I don't know where the hell that came from. I don't love this, but accept it as my fate for the time being. I've got my whole life to sleep, and you will be this age only once... I'll blink and it will be gone.

Natalie, I love you so much. I look forward to the 2nd year of your life and all the changes you will go through. I cannot wait to enjoy each moment as it comes. Soon enough, I won't be the center of your world, and I know I'll long for these days. Just don't run away too fast, okay?

Happy Mother's Day

A toast to all mother's!

My first mother's day has arrived, my little one and hubby are both in bed and I sit here pondering this moment. I'm so exicited for this day... Natalie is almost a year old. This journey into motherhood has simply been amazing. Much more than I ever imagined. As my mom well knows, I was not one of those girls who grew up knowing she wanted children. In fact, for a long time, I simply wasn't that interested. I was young, self absorbed and taking on the world (well, okay, maybe just my space in San Francisco), but still. Who had time for kids? Then my nephew was born. Seeing my brother become a dad and falling in love with my nephew was a turning point. Maybe, I thought. But it was not until I met Dean that I really began to want kids. With Dean, I could imagine what life might be like with children. I loved him so much, the idea of creating a family with him seemed natural. And here I am today. With a silly grin on my face, thinking of Natalie and slighly amazed at how I got here.

Isn't she adorable?



Now, on the other side of this day, is a day to celebrate my own mom. So mom, a very happy mothers day to you! Having Natalie has made me realize even more, how much you sacrificed for Pete and I. And how much you love us. Without you, I would not be the person I am, something I am extremely grateful for. I'm so thankful for all that you did... staying home to raise us, taking us to the library every week so we'd learn the joy of a good book, getting me into dance and music classes, and just standing behind me and making me truly believe in myself. Had I not had the love and support of you and dad behind me, I wouldn't have had the courage to do half the things in life I did. Knowing that you and dad would always be there for me, made me strong. Still does. I'm grateful for that.

And that is something I'm thinking about today. I hope Natalie grows up with the same feeling. That she knows Dean and I love her unconditionally. That we will be here for her always, even in the tough times. I want her to have the courage to challenge herself and find out what makes her happy. She'll ultimately decide what that will be, and I hope that knowing how much her parent's love and support her, will help Natalie live a happy and full life.

Cousin Alex

As promised, here is a photo of Natalie's newest cousin, Alexander. Looks like the Dixons (Vonks) will be carrying on their lineage of red heads. Too cute.



It's been such fun talking with Debbie about her first weeks becoming a mom. It brings back all the memories of bringing Natalie home. I'll never forget walking in the door with her, the tiniest thing, setting her on the couch and looking and Dean and saying "what do we do now?" After all the preparing and reading of books ad nauseum, I realized that nothing can prepare you for that moment. Or the weeks ahead as you get to know your new baby. It's great. And it's difficult. I think I cried more that first month than my entire life. Tears of joy. Tears of frustration.

Here's what they should really teach you in jr. high algebra:

Post Partum Hormones + New Baby/ Sleep Deprivation = CRAZY WOMAN!!

I had my moments, as Dean can tell you. Like when I completely freaked out when he was going to go back to work after 2 weeks. I sort of lost it (okay, not sort of) and thankfully, he was able to stay home one more week. That saved me and by the third week I was ready.

And Debbie, I promise, you will get a full nights sleep again. It just might not be as soon as you'd like. But treasure these moments, they pass so quickly. And send more pictures!

She's Back!

Okay, so it's been awhile. I know. The four weeks have gone like this:

• out of town wedding (Milwaukee brew pub - awesome)
• out of town wedding (Wayfarers Chapel - gorgeous)
• throw easter dinner party & insist upon making everything homemade
• host couples baby shower & buy it all from Lazy Acres

Between all the above plus working on some hectic design projects, things have been a bit busy. I don't know, I thought when I quit my office job and started freelancing from home, I'd have all the time in the world. Riiiiiiight. Rather, I find that I feel more disorganized than ever and time just seems to slip by. The good news is we finally found another nanny, which is a huge relief. No more working in the morning before Dean goes to work, then rushing to work when Natalie naps, then working more in the evening when Dean is back home and Natalie's in bed. Talk about a LONG day, sheesh.

But there is finally a light. The project wrapped up, the nanny is here 2 afternoons a week and Natalie is just as adorable as ever. It's hard to be too down when that cute little face is looking at you.

So, the recap from the long absence:

• Natalie has a new cousin!!! Baby Alex born March 27th. He's gorgeous. I'll post a photo once I remember to ask his mom if that's okay.
• Went away for my first weekend since Natalie was born. It was FANTASTIC. I missed her, and still managed to have fun. She and Dad had a great bonding weekend.
• We learned that trying to keep a 10 month old awake for 6 hours makes enjoying a wedding difficult.
• The Easter bunny made an appearance. I did not see him myself though, as I have in years past. Just ask my family.
  
  And Miss Natalie is getting the cutest curls. Check 'em out.
  
  

Be Careful What You Wish For

Dean and I could not wait for Natalie to crawl. We encouraged her, put toys just out of her reach, clapped with enthusiasm whenever she tried. And then she did it!

and did it some more. and got faster. and further.

On the one hand, it's the greatest thing when she's crawling and giggling to get to you. And following you around the house. Need some self actualization? Have a baby! Plus, it's just plain fun and interesting to see what interests her. A whole new world has opened up for her because she now has some control over what she plays with and explores. That part is amazing.

But on the other hand, my days of leaving the room for 5 minutes and knowing she was safe are over. Lounging on the couch? Gone! And of course, the more dangerous and object is, the more applealing it is as well. I'm constantly redirecting her and trying not to say no all the time. The new word is danger. Not that she understands it yet, but eventually...

So mom, just a shout out to say thanks for keeping me safe when I was a wee one. I know now how much effort that really entailed.

It's a sad day...

One of my best friends dad died this weekend. Unexpectedly.

It's an awful feeling to know your friend and her family are in such terrible pain and there is nothing you can do but offer your love and support. I just want to take their pain away and I can't. I'm still in shock and find myself thinking about it when I go to bed at night. If I think about it too long, the sadness is almost overwhelming. So if I feel that way, I can only imagine how it must be for my friend.

Ironically, he was one of the most fit men I know his age, perhaps with the exception of my father-in-law. Life is just like that sometimes. So unfair. So, I did the only thing I could, called my parents and told them how much I loved them. I sat with Natalie, cuddling her for the longest time thinking about how truly blessed Dean and I are to have her. If you know me at all, you know I'm not one to count my blessings, but I find myself doing that these days. Perhaps that is a good thing.

Here's to you Andy. I'll miss many things about you... you're teasing nature, subtle sarcasm, and great bbq's at your house. But mostly I'll miss just being around you and your family, and experiencing the love you had for them firsthand.